Darling Grubby, I am sorry I have not written for a while but I have been frantically busy.
Organizing an election campaign is far harder than just putting out a few announcements from a dictator. Previously I could just say “Tax evaders will be shot!” Job done and tax evasion would drop.
But now I have to write an announcement talking about the benefits of paying taxes, pointing out all the good works The Glorious Leader does with those taxes and that evading taxes is not just illegal but also anti-social. Then finally I can get to the point and say tax evaders will be shot.
Pheww it is long and boring work but at least I am well paid for it. I am already dreaming about what I am going to spend my $1m bonus on. Thanks PNG for that $40m funding for elections as most of it will be spent through my Ministry of MissInformation.
My diet over the last few weeks has been very very unhealthy and I want to keep drinking the same amount of the red stuff I need to be more careful about what I eat. As another big drinker of the grape I thought it only fair that I send you some health tips. To make it even worse we are working in a very hazardous environment.
Grubby I have to dash. I am in the midst of making a TV Commercial for the Glorious Leader. Thanks for writing the script it is looking really strong and I will send you the finished article early next week.
Hugs and Kisses
This is to inform the public that this letter is a piece of fiction. However, the people and events mentioned are real.