Commodore Frankly Bananas has won Fiji’s Tourist of the Year Award for the 5th Consecutive Year. Bananas has travelled the globe and has holidayed in more countries than any other Fijian.
In a punishing schedule Bananas has forced himself to go on overseas holidays for at least 3 weeks in every 4.
In his gracious acceptance speech the Glorious Leader said “I am the dictator in a country whose biggest industry is tourism. As its leader it is important for me to understand the needs of tourists better than anyone else in Fiji. Therefore, I need to have as many holidays as I can fit into my schedule. In 2012, I managed to fit in 36 weeks of holidays and I am looking to increase that in 2013 by bringing in efficiencies and becoming President.”
“I wish to acknowledge the support of my wife Merely Bananas who accompanies me when she can but she does have to stay behind to do my washing on occasion. I wish to apologize to you all for the way I am dressed. I only flew into Fiji this morning and this crumpled shirt was the only clean one left at the bottom of my bag; A common occurrence for the experienced holiday maker.”
“I would also like to thank Airbus for this last trip. It is important that when you fly as much as I do, it is in comfort. Airbus has measured me for my very own seat on the 3 new Air Pathetic Airbuses. It will only be a temporary measure as they will be delivering my very own Presidential jet in 2014 as part of the deal. It will have a separate bedroom and bathroom with gold taps. The reason for my stopover in Dubai on the way home was to get private jet decorating tips from my financial advisor Sheik Down.”
“In a bid for efficiency I do try to combine my holidays with money laundering. So in March I will be spending 3 weeks in the Caribbean visiting resorts and having a good time. But I will also visit a few banks in the Cayman Islands where I will deliver my brown paper bags of your hard earned cash.”
“In closing I want to remind you all I holiday for the benefit of Fiji and staying at 6 star hotels like the Georges V in Paris is not cheap. I know you will continue to dig deep to ensure you dictator enjoys the life to which he has become accustomed.”
For pictures of Commodore Frankly Bananas holiday snaps there is a special section on the Ministry of Miss Information Facebook page. This has become a very useful resource for Geography teachers as they will find pictures from 162 different countries which have all kindly given Bananas a free holiday.