I have not written to you in nearly as long as you have not updated your blogsite. I guess we have been too busy to let our fingers do the talking as it were.
I have been rushed off my feet as we have had to cope with one needless problem after another. The RFMF has just spent a week washing its Driti laundry in public, failed to prove anything except Brigadier ZZZZ can’t be trusted and that an officer and a gentleman is not synonymous with Queen Elizabeth barracks. Driti was found innocent but unfortunately for him kraiyum Pays, the Fat Horny General, disagreed. I am not sure why we even bother with a trial as the judge just reads out Kraiyum Pay’s instructions and the Assessors are just ignored.
The other thing I have been working on this week is trying to repair relations with first PNG and now the EU.
PNG got upset because their High Commissioner was not allowed to become the Dean of the Diplomatic Corps. I don’t blame them he was the most senior diplomat in the country by a mile but old KumBumBollocks had other ideas. Apparently he was upset by Peter TheFaerie because prevented him from taking part in some bribery scheme that would have made him rich.
Then we had the glorious sight of Kraiyum Pays storming out of a meeting organized by the Forum. He put out a press release, without my authorization, saying the forum had become the French poodle of the EU and the Forum was trying to force the Pacific Islands to accept the EPA. Needless to say it was left to me to try and repair the damage.
But apparently it is going to be the Dictator’s policy to trach the Forum and the EU. Apparently it is creating the right atmosphere for when we give China Rotuma so they can turn it into their South Pacific naval Base.
I have also been putting together some promotional videos for the Dictator’s election campaign. We launched the first one in Damodars new 5D cinema when it was opened by frankly Bananas. The effects are really good and you can actually feel the truncheon hitting your feet. And I really screamed when I felt the dogs teeth on my neck.
Mr BEANimarama Fiji's Mr Fix IT
Inspector Clueless of the Fiji Police Examines the failure of the Justice System
Got to run look at what has just been leaked from the American Embassy.
This is to inform the public that this letter is a piece of fiction. However, some of the people and events mentioned are real.
Shazzer has joined the Youth and is using Facebook. To see her page follow this link.